TO THE PURPLE OCEAN

Ā 

I didn’t know loving yourself was a thing until I found these 7Ā  normal boys from Korea.

I was in 9th at the time I found them ,more like THEY FOUND ME!. I was a simple introverted girl with not so many friend, I hardly had 2 friends. All the girls in my school including my close friends were so beautiful and cool that everyone would be head over heals for them especially boys. I was not in to boys but I wanted to be cool and beautiful. Looking back I realize that I was not THAT unfortunate looking. I wanted to be perfect, I wanted to have others life, others face, in short I didn’t love what I HAD [except my family]. I was so blind about MY appearance that I didn’t see what I had and what I was capable of. Since my friends were so busy with their boyfriends[typical teenage stuff]

I was super lonely.one day a classmate of mine began teasing me that everyone was hooked up and I was not[ Honestly I was not in to boys]and then he said that I was still single because my skin was too dark. He made more racist comments and everyone around me was laughing. I was so angry and sad. That day I went home and cried for eternity, I slapped my innocent face for not looking pretty enough and was shouting at myself for not being good enough for my friends and family. I thought I was ugly.

I tried to share my problems with the most trustable well wishers of my life: my uncle and my mom. They tried to help me with my problems, but even they couldn’t heal my wounded heart.

I am very interested in listening to music and one day I was listening to my favorite music channel on TV. And suddenly THIS PARTICULAR KPOP SONG featuring HALSEY played. I liked listening to Halsey so I gave a listen to this song. I didn’t know that this song could change my life forever. It was BTS’s Boy with Luv feat Halsey. I was so drawn to this aura that BTS had. And I wanted to know their names. It took me a week to study their names. I slowly started to discover their LOVE YOURSELF albums. Heard many of their speeches especially Kim Namjoon’sĀ  speech at the UN.Ā 

I began to see myself, love myself and learnt to speak myself. Earlier I hated going to school, but after their arrival in to my life, I began to be happy. I’m not saying people stopped talking behind my backs but I didn’t care because I knew me!.

Moreover I didn’t want anybody else to love me because I’ve got me!. BTS made me feel beautiful both inside and out. And ARMY made me feel that I was included and that I was not an outsider. I started making new ARMY friends and began hanging out with people that had the same purple heart as me. I don’t know how to pay them back for making me find me. All I can say is that I would support and love them all equally until my last day on this wonderful purple world. I don’t know whether I’ll see them or not in real life but I know that they are a big part of my life and existing in the same time as BTS is a blessing!. BORAHAE!

  • India