Losing Everything and Finding Love

How did I find BTS? Maybe they actually found me? It’s almost like somehow they knew that I needed them, so much, in my life. My life as I had known it, fell apart. Through no fault of my own, I lost my marriage, home, possessions and my granddaughter. For a year and a half,  I was homeless. I lived in a women’s shelter and felt like my life, at 69, was over. Little did I know that I was going to find someone to help me, put the pieces of my broken heart back together.

I raised my granddaughter as my own, from the time she was seven months old and at 15, when I finally got out of  the shelter, found somewhere to live and got her back with me, she gave me a wonderful gift, though at the time I wasn’t too interested, or impressed.  She introduced me to BTS! I had absolutely no interest in listening to some K Pop group that I couldn’t understand. I knew they sang some RAP and that sure didn’t appeal to me.  She started me out listening to ‘Butterfly’ and ‘House of Cards’. I still remember thinking that there was beauty in these songs, that I couldn’t understand. These songs still are among my favorites. I also listen to RAP now, but only by J-Hope, Rap Monster and AgustD. I’m obsessed. Lol.

First I fell for their voices. I was starting to get ‘hooked on a feeling.’ Lol. I couldn’t tell those guys apart. I didn’t understand one word of their songs, except an occasional word in English that was scattered in the lyrics. They wore make up and dyed their hair exotic colors.  In the end, it didn’t seem to matter. They’re music spoke to my heart, my loneliness and my pain. They brought me comfort. I found translations to the lyrics on You Tube, watched their unbelievable choreography and  couldn’t get enough of them.  Three and a half years later, I still can’t get enough of them.

I learned that their talent and handsome, good looks were only a part of their appeal. They actually seemed to care and relate to their fans.  Their interest also, was the change in the world,  that they wanted to be a part of. This gave them substance and value beyond their music.  I realized that they weren’t out for just the fame and money. They were out to make a difference. They wanted to comfort their fans and give them hope for the future.  They’ve accomplished that and so much more. They’ve found people who were hurt, lonely, broken and rejected and made them feel a part of their world. They’ve shown their fans, who they lovingly,  call ARMY, that they matter. BTS really love us. We matter to them.   They given us an example of how we should live.  True ARMYs are caring, accepting, there for each other, the world and as well, for BTS. Within ARMY, I’ve found a family who supports me and accepts me. My age, weight or life circumstances, doesn’t matter to them. They love me because we all love BTS and BTS has taught us to LOVE OURSELVES.     BTS is not a fad. They are substance and longevity. I’m here with them for the rest of my life and to support and respect them and their life goals and choices. ‘They were only 7 without us,’’ Now we’re all here together.

BTS, I’ll never be able to thank you enough for what you’ve brought into my life. No matter what other things you accomplish in this world, you’ve given us, more than enough. You’ve helped heal, love and accept. You’ve shown us that the world is small and despite where we are from, or what language we speak, we are all the same.  You’ve taught me that above all, to “Love Myself,” and that’s what it’s all about.