Delayed Reaction

I didn’t like them at first.  I thought they looked like thugs.  I laugh to myself as I look around my very BTS inspired room.  How they changed everything about me.  From my language and mannerisms to even my choice in dog names.

I rediscovered them during the Wings era.  A random YT search presented a video and I clicked to watch.  When I saw Mr. Park Jimin in the center position in the opening lines of the song Blood, Sweat and Tears, it was over.  Was this the same BTS as in no more dream?  Gone were the bad boy vibes and heavy eyeliner, and in its place were seven very sleek, sophisticated men with tight harmonies, delicious concepts and superior choreo.

I spent the next weeks devouring all I could on YT about them.  I did internet searches about their personalities, favorite foods, habits, etc.  My favorite early videos were of them sleeping.  I thought they were precious, alluring, funny, enchanting and very sexy.

And with my new eyes, their early work I appreciated with the fervor of a new fan.  It all told a story, from the first day.  The world of the BU enticed me.  It took time, of course, to devour all the material, and not yet being on social media, the going was slow.

I didn’t get on Insta or Twt until December 2018.  I was afraid of other armys.  I was in my 40’s.  Would I be accepted?  Would I be mocked?  Insta was a first safe venue.  Mostly pictures and a little talk here and there.  Then, I jumped into the deep end.  Twt.

A whole new world opened up for me.   Even though I was a fan since 2016, I feel like winter 2018 was my real birth as an army.  I remember I wouldn’t barely admit that Jimin was cute when I first replied to an army’s post.  I know that the earliest armys I met are still with me now.  Through BTS, I found a community of loving souls of all ages.  We share the same heart.  And there will always be drama on social media, but I have never been treated badly about my age, which is something I have always been sensitive about.  I don’t have my own family or any children.  BTS and BTS army has become my family.  We have weathered happy times, sad times, hard times, births, deaths, covid and they are my strength when I have none left.

So, my path in becoming an army happened very organically, starts and stops and eventually they became my everything.  I leave you with my favorite lyric.  It hangs in my room and I think it sums up what being an army really means to me.

“On days I hate being myself, days I want to disappear foreverLet’s make a door in your heart.  Open the door and this place will await.  It’s okay to believe, the Magic Shop will comfort you.” – Magic Shop, BTS

Thank you for letting me share.

Kimberly,  Pink haired Programmer, SoCal Army, Jimin Bias, OT7 always.